Ughhhhh

So guess who totally feels like crap right now? That's right, you guessed it. Lovely lovely little unintentionally selfdestructive me.
So I have this ex who I broke up with in November for all the wrong reasons. Not going to get into the details of that. They don't really matter. What matters is that on some level, I still love him. When we first broke up, we did the whole "I hate you don't talk to me" thing, which is really hard as his best friend is one of my best friends and my best friend is a really good friend of his. Then we slowly went back to being friends. Then he said something that ticked me off, and I responded as calmly as one can when someone has just said something they know you hate hearing and he took it the wrong way and flipped out. He apologized later, but I still avoided him and licked my wounds for a bit. There's this FB message between me, him, and three mutual friends where we did a good amount of our arguing. I told one of said mutual friends I would be taking a break from said message for a little but as the ex and I needed some time apart. Just days later, the ex and I accidentally met up on a virtual gaming site we both play on from time to time. I agreed to group with him only because his little sister was on and wanted to group with me, but neither of us knew how to intiate a group. She had to go almost immediately, which makes me wonder if she was actually on or if the ex had logged in as her on the other computer just to get me to group with him. I answered him politely and curtly, and according to what he said on the FB message, he thought that meant we were cool. However, that was a couple of weeks ago. I am still not communicating through that message.
Now that we've got the background done, let's move on to why I feel so crappy.
I found a video of John Green saying that he liked the Twilighf series, and I posted a link on FB that said "JOHN GREEN LIKES TWILIGHT! Take THAT!" The ex posted comments: "Is he gay?" and "I listened to it with broken headphones and all I heard was the Charlie Brown adult voice "wah wah wah wah wah wah wah."
I got pissed. I mean, really ticked off. I am one of those people who hate it when people use gay as an insult, or decide that somebody's gay because of what they like when they have no other proof. And if he had actually watched and listened to the video, he would've known without a doubt that John is straight. Just because HE doesn't like Twilight… but I shouldn't be getting into that. Anyways, I fired off a message saying that just because John Green can appreciate good literature, unlike him (a jab at how the ex once read a piece of my writing where one character kills another in a fit of rage, grief, and desparation, and told me I needed to go to a shrink. I will never forgive him for that), doesn't mean he's gay. I also said that John Green was the best author on the planet and I did not appreciate his comments, so I deleted them. In a post-script, I told him he needed to work on his insults if that's what he was going for, as "gay" is not an insult to a nerdfighter.
He replied that he was joking and he didn't mean to upset me.
I replied that he did upset me. This was about a minute later.
He replied seven minutes later that he would never upset me on purpose and that he's just tired of the Twilight stuff.
Then he replied eleven minutes after that that I replied to the first one almost instantly and now I can be unresponsive all I want
Then, four minutes after that: okay I guess I just have to assume you hate me not much to it I guess. I'll miss your friendship.
Twelve minutes after that: it's not always a good idea to leave in the middle of a conversation. Kind of pisses people off after a while. I've removed you from my friends list.
I then replied about an hour and a half later, explaining that I had been out of the house (because gasp I actually have a life! I didn't put that in there, as I wanted to be the bigger person, but ohhh I wanted to) and was just now receiving the messages. I apologized for not responding sooner and for the bitter and defensive message. I also told him that I was sorry to hear he no longer wanted to be friends.
This was at six yesterday evening, and I hadn't heard back when I checked at eight last night. This is getting posted around six most likely, and I'll check FB and post about any changes.
Now that I've really mulled it over, I'm feeling less like crap and more, like, pissed. On one hand, that bitter little message was what started it. On the other, it really wasn't that bitter, he didn't have to watch the video if he's so tired of Twilight, he could be more open minded and/or closed mouthed, and I'm not the one who defriended someone simply because she didn't reply to my messgae fast enough. Of course, I do tend to avoid contact with those who are upsetting me, but that's mainly because 1) I'm Irish, so when I get mad, expect words and/or fists to fly, 2) I'm under quite a bit of stress at the moment (by the way, it's midterm week. Wahoo), and 3) I'm not having the best time of my life right now. Oh, and 4) I'm nonconfrontational for the most part, but when I get mad enough… see 1. But I still feel like crap, only now I'm angry crap. Today's going to go so well.

~Delaney/Laney/LeeLee/Layla Lee, lover of writing, wolves, John Green, and the fiveawesomegirls, hater of naught  but hate and brocoli, owner of a nasty Irish temper and the accompanying luck, and the longwinded half of the infamous Wormhole Twins~